Today I woke feeling so much better, and finally looked at the date. Yesterday's was my mother's birthday. I had not noticed the date but clearly my mind did.
It explains the tiredness, the waking nightmare I got up with, about having a paralytic stroke and being completely helpless. That's what happened to her. Clearly my mind was working on it while I was struggling and unaware.
Today is a better day, and oddly, it's the birthday of the brother I mourned in January, but it's okay.
I went out to see how the downed tree was doing, and found the landscapers had done as I hoped, cut and chipped the small branches, cut up the main trunk and pulled the sections among the trees to decay. Good stewardship, though it was probably more about convenience.
Happy day everyone, good to know what was up yesterday, though the state of the world still leaves a lot to be desired. But I feel more capable of doing my bit today.
That damn subconscious knows a helluva lot more than our conscious mind does, that's for sure. It's kind of spooky sometimes.
ReplyDeleteSo true. We're carrying around knowledge like unopened boxes.
DeleteYes, that makes sense now why you didn't feel well. Very lovely photos.
ReplyDeleteIt's a relief to realize it and stop thinking it's a health issue.
DeleteThe pond looks pretty with the ice. Strawberry season is almost over here and I haven't eaten nearly enough of them. I'll have to do better next summer.
ReplyDeleteThat's a seasonal resolution!
DeleteThe fallen tree, from what I can see of the bark, is a cherry tree like its smaller siblings/offspring. Nice to think of it providing shelter and sustenance in this next phase of its life.
ReplyDeleteYour body really does track milestones. Glad you woke from that dream and found yourself whole and able. The pond, in its frozen state, was waiting for you. Interesting thinking of the turtles snug down in the mud for another couple of months. Do spring peepers tune up there just as the ice melts and the water begins to think of warming?
Chris from Boise
Thanks for the tree id. Yes, that tracks, from being more fragile than the other big trees to being in the middle of a thicket of young cherries.
DeleteWe sometimes get spring peepers, but the bullfrogs are more evident as the season moves on.
I’ve been having some down days, different from the down days I’ve been having about the world we live in. Your post just made me realize why. Yesterday was the 45th anniversary of my sister’s death. Oh, the subconscious mind. My heart is with you.
ReplyDeleteAh, yes, that sounds so right. Our subconscious is always busy. Condolences. I get it.
DeleteWe had rain so there is melting here too. Spring is on the horizon!
ReplyDeleteAt last! Long winter there.
DeleteIt’s odd how our brains sometimes work. It’s like the top half of our brain doesn’t know what the bottom half knows, or not right away.
ReplyDeleteExactly. We don't know what we don't know.
DeleteIt is truly amazing how we remember what we don't remember. Such an interesting part of being human. I wonder if any studies have been done on this phenomenon.
ReplyDeleteI expect they have. I wonder if Oliver Sacks ever examined it.
DeleteI am sorry you were feeling our of sorts yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI have been throwing out strawberry tops too the birds love them.
Glad you are better today.
Cathy
I don't think the birds are getting a look in!
DeleteOur subconscious is responsible for a lot I think.
ReplyDeleteIt's such a mystery. I wonder if it's a defense mechanism against intrusive thoughts.
DeleteI've never thought to throw the strawberry tops out for the squirrels. I will remember this for the next time we have them. Glad you are feeling better today.
ReplyDeleteTurns out they're a great treat. So I recycled!
DeleteFunny how our subconscious leads us when we least expect it - or even without being aware of it. Glad your ooomph has returned and you were up for a walk to the pond.
ReplyDeleteYes, it was so good to make it there. And it wasn't tiring, so I'm getting my walking mojo back.
DeleteYou're not the only one who has had the subconscious to the mourning instead of your conscience. Figuring it out is a blessing and relief.
ReplyDeleteIt was a relief to realize what was happening. I was beginning to worry about health issues.
DeleteIt's usually the dogs that get our strawberry tops, though I sometimes eat the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteThey're evidently a universal gourmet treat.
DeleteI know I still miss my mom every day. We were so close and spoke on the phone almost every morning. Eighteen years at the end of the month.
ReplyDeleteYou miss her forever, I think. My mom died at 63, and she's been gone 67 years. Longer than she lived. But still very real to me.
Deleteit's amazing how quickly all your snow melted. i used to wonder why felled trees were left until i understood that they're food for the next generations. glad you're feeling better.
ReplyDeleteYes, just leaving stuff where it lies can be good care. Nature isn't neat. Even to not being too quick to tidy the leaves in fall -- they might be shelter to beneficial insects. Just seeing the highest branched closeup showed me a lot about the life going on there
DeleteThanks for the good wishes, yes, much better today.
Those anniversaries are so tough. My mom died in 77 and dad in 93 and I still have them sneak up in the way you have described. We just go with it. I suppose it's "their way" of reminding us about them!
ReplyDeleteI usually honor people on their birthdays, don't even remember their death days. But it still has a lot of power.
DeleteThat happened to me for years after losing my brother. He was only 26.
ReplyDeleteThe body remembers.
Not sleeping well at the moment is happening to me too.
My brain won’t stop going round like the Hamster on the wheel. It just keeps going round and round
I’m glad your feeling better
I think the change of season figures in this, too.
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