Take your time. No, not like that!

Today's little bouquet as a thank you.

I've had so many helpful messages and emails and comments and I thank you all. 

Now I've already started to get anxious follow ups, "just checking"! So I thought I'd better bring you up to date to help with the anxiety. 

It's very funny, take aaaaaalll the time, then after two days, what's up, are you okay, talk to me! But I love it and I get it.

What happened to me was a series of setbacks culminating in Joanne's death. That was the one thing too far.

I'd been dealing with what felt like a great betrayal, different context not discussed in here, followed by realizing I had put a lot of energy into supporting  someone who now was off on a new path.  Not a relative nor neighbor.  I felt like I'd thrown away years of sustained energy where it wasn't wanted. User error. 

Then the goodbye to a significant part of my life, the Knitting Ministry, that was a loss I can hardly describe. It's often kept me mentally on an even keel, having a sock to knit, with a worthwhile destination.

Then I've been dealing with a significant drop in energy, partly the heat and humidity, partly age. After 85, things are different, and I was still acting as if. I need to rest between every little activity, can't walk as far, though I still walk, 

Then Joanne died, and here a note about her. 

She wasn't only a blog friend, she was a fellow fiberartist, with whom I exchanged materials and ideas, and she collaborated on some of my activities.  

There was a bond you don't get outside of the fiberarts world. For her I brought back to mind her mother and grandmother, particularly the latter, a great needlewoman. For me she was a helpful sister sharing expertise generously.

So this has been a cascade of losses, and I've been resetting this week.

I simply don't have the energy to do everything I've been doing, so, aside from sleeping, I've been sorting through my options.  That and doing brief videos for my YouTube channel, the least demanding  part of my online life.

So here's the plan, as of now, just so you know everything is fine, just a bit different.

I think I will not delete, just cut back, on a lot. I won't narrate every Textiles and Tea, nor attend every Tuesday Knitting group, nor every audio pod. And maybe not write a daily blogpost. I've been making a daily post since 2008, with very few missed days, but that doesn't mean I can't change now to suit my new situation.

Today, Misfits day, as a trial run, I omitted all the photo prep today, and now see how much energy went into checking and tracking and timing and photographing and explaining.

I love to do it but I have to live within my new means and do all these capers as and when.

I'm doing very well, in case you're wondering if I'm leading up to a diagnosis, I'm well -- particularly since I'm a lot nearer 90 than 80, though up to now it's been easy to forget that.

So that's where we are.

But I thought you'd like to see what Misfits wrought today anyway 

Happy day everyone, be a butterfly!

Or thistledown 

A crossroads and new decisions

I'm looking on the recent surgery interlude and the current recovery period as a crossroads. It's a useful time to consider things to change or move on from or continue. 

I'm considering what continues to work for me and what I need to move on from. Just small stuff at this point. But the whole adventure and the encounters with much younger people, reminded me how old I am, something that doesn't cross my mind often when I'm planning projects. 

One thing I decided could go was the dusty old dried flower arrangement in the downstairs bathroom. 

Statice, lavender from my plant, roses from the last birthday bouquet from my now long late sister.  They were years old and disintegrating, aren't we all, so I decided they'd done their bit.

They were in a lovely porcelain container which led to another small decision.

My teaspoons, on top of the stove for tasting when I cook, have been in this old metal can for years.

Now they've got an upgrade

And today I'm going through my sewing stuff to pick out useful items for my friends at Pine Ridge.

I'm looking for multiples, tape measures, scissors, that kind of thing, also I have tons of sewing needles for hand stitchers.

So this will be the next winnowing. It might include hexies I've stitched and other stitched motifs I really am not going to use, I have to be realistic here. They might work on projects under way at Pine Ridge. There may be sewing plans I won't go on with.

About what to continue, the knitting ministry is definitely to continue soon.  And I'll complete the fabric book that's been waiting. And I'll do a bit of spinning.  And pinloom weaving. And maybe socks for me, even.

I just need to take this opportunity to rethink a few making-related plans, and how realistic they are.

I delivered a couple of treats across the street as a thank you for various reasons, including crisp tofu sticks with heating and eating instructions,  and chocolate cherries. It was a visit as well as a walking expedition.  I reunited with their two Cav King Charles dogs, who were wildly excited! 

It's nice to be a giver again, after being dependent for a couple of weeks.

Happy day everyone, take an expedition of some kind, including in your mind.

Ted sez