Another Thanksgiving, thankfully conducted our way, reminds me to talk about Thanksgiving as an immigrant. In our first couple of years, we were invited out, as newcomers happily learning about this unknown occasion.
Then, like newlyweds wanting to start their own tradition, we eventually embarked on doing it ourselves, and inviting guests. I was interested in taking initiative, as members of both sides of my family had made the same journey I did, ship from Liverpool to New York harbor, in the 1850s, so I thought it was time for me to get going.
We reckoned without the indignation of several people who called to invite us. Far from being pleased they'd got us onto our own feet and modeled Thanksgiving for us, they were annoyed that we were hosting for ourselves, one even saying you can't do that, you're a guest! I even got a call one year as I was serving up our table, complete with guests, demanding that we come over, because I probably had nothing prepared. Ah. Interesting insight there. And there were others. I never quite fathomed what was going on, and if you can surmise, please do.
And then there are the people who, when I was widowed, invited me, saying you may as well come, nobody will notice one more! Ah again! I think that was just an awkward way of saying it was no problem to add a guest. Except that I had a son, not part of the math. People do clumsy things with good intentions and comic results!
The Thanksgiving cactus came through
It's such a transformation from the pink buds to the coral color when they open, never fails to surprise me. That was a Christmas gift from my cleaning family last year, great gift.
And while I'm thinking about making things, the skirt awaiting ideas, the socks finished, the comfort dolls awaiting yarn the right color for faces, I did some visible mending.
Weird how possessive those Thanksgiving hosts became over your attendance.
ReplyDeleteI wish the media would spend as much time on Biden’s accomplishments as they do on that nazi Trump but good news just doesn’t sell.
It seems to be up to Biden's supporters to do the heavy lifting, since msm seems determined not to.
Delete"...lying about like pythons..."
ReplyDeletePerfect imagery. You're right. The Friday after Thanksgiving is a great day to recover from the feasting and creating of the feast which just occurred.
That's such a funny story about people being upset that you were not only not coming to theirs for Thanksgiving but were having your own dinner! People can be strange, can't they?
Your mending is wearable, practical art. I love it!
And frankly, I love Biden, too.
I wonder if people get invested in the idea of being the generous hosts, and feel put out when the target guests move on.
DeleteI'm guessing your "hosts" just assumed you wouldn't be doing anything and so wanted to make sure you were invited. They were just looking out for you, albeit awkwardly!
ReplyDeleteInteresting assumption, after years of living here! But you might be right, too. But why the annoyance, I wonder.
Delete"More darn than sock". Like a friend's pipe. He had it for 20 years. It had had 7 new bowls and 5 new stems, but it was still the same pipe.
ReplyDeleteSounds like the ax Washington use to chop down the cherry tree!
DeletePythoning here.
ReplyDeleteChris from Boise
Sounds about right.
DeleteYou have to give the man credit for all he’s done thus far. As I see it anyway!
ReplyDeleteI'd say so!
DeleteTG is such a thing there. It's a thing here but not nearly the same kind of thing.
ReplyDeleteI had three Canadian sisters who seemed to make a big deal of it. But they made big deals out of a lot!
DeleteBack handed compliments, snide remarks, and out and out rudeness
ReplyDeletePeople say they want world peace. How about you start with you and stop all that. Be genuinely nice or just shut up I say
I love your visible mending.
I think the stress around holidays doesn't bring out the best!
DeleteThe good part about visible mending, aside from being a pleasure to do, is that it's very comfortable to mend so that a much bigger area is decorated than the original hole area.
Even here in Singapore I'm getting fed up with the amount of screen time the orange monster is getting. Mr Biden only seems to get a mention as a sidebar on Israel/Gaza. I need English language news but have stopped watching anything that is generated by US channels.
ReplyDeleteThe media owners don't see a labor supporting president as their friend.
DeleteMy husband puts his big toes through his socks. I need to practice visible mending if I am going to keep knitting him socks!
ReplyDeleteWe used to do orphan christmas - anyone who didn't have family was welcome.
I think mending is part of sock making!
DeleteI am smiling at the reactions of the folks who invited you to Thanksgiving dinner. When taken aback, they succumbed to rudeness.
ReplyDeleteI had several pair of thrice plus darned socks. And who knows how many pair of gifted socks I darned .
I guess they assumed we were sitting waiting for a call on Thanksgiving Day! I'll never understand why they didn't grasp that of course we would celebrate. Or why they waited till tday to call! Oh well.
DeleteI like my decoratively darned socks, fun to wear.
I love your cactus so pretty. Your visible mending looks great too.
ReplyDeleteCathy
It's good to have lovely things! My new proverb.
DeleteIf I understand correctly, you emmigrated from England to America. Well, language is the main barrier both for immigrants and hosts, and here the same language, english.
ReplyDeleteInteresting cactus! Never seen a similar one.
Yes, that's correct, Duta about language. And culture. A lot to learn!
DeleteThe orange beast deserves no air time for anything at all. The media seems fascinated by bad behavior. I am impressed with Biden, he has done a fantastic job. That said, people can be awkward at holiday times. Often people look on hubby and I with pity because we don't do a big gathering.
ReplyDeleteThey think we may be lacking in some way?
We are fine and celebrate quietly each day we have together. No muss, no fuss.
Mending socks is nearly a lost art!
I think you're living gracefully every day, not an easy path for you both right now.
DeleteWhen I worked at a research institution, one of my close colleagues and his wife used to host Thanksgiving dinner with an open invitation, which I thought was very nice because so many visiting fellows were from other countries and many of the local researchers lived alone. Then I heard the wife, who took great pride in the numbers of guests they hosted each year, referring to their guests as "strays," and although I'm sure she didn't mean it in a derogatory way, I just never felt comfortable attending after that.
ReplyDeleteI think you've put your finger on it! Maybe we were that element of gracious generosity the hosts could mention! We host immigrants, you know. I'll bet anything that's right.
DeleteI understand the invitations but when you want to start your own tradition it's hard to explain that! (It's time to invite them!) Yes, sometimes people are gracious but clumsy. But the thought is lovely.
ReplyDeleteThe situation is a bit delicate, and some people navigate it better than others! But there was also the undertone that we didn't have the right to adopt this festival, not having grown up here. People's emotions are complex around the issue of belonging.
DeleteI absolutely refuse to mend socks at the rate that the RC puts holes in his, so he darns his own. I'd sooner knit a pair of socks than mend!
ReplyDeletePeople are certainly odd in their justification for doing things - including inviting people for occasions such as Thanksgiving. I tend to wonder if they are simply trying to boast about how thankful/successful they are and how 'giving' they are to invite people they feel are lacking.
I wonder if certain groups are useful fodder for hospitality cred, yes!
DeleteI think you and Quinn above may have nailed it. What I don't comprehend is why they would not be gracious in the end - just for the sake of being nice. Some people don't have enough instinct for self preservation to keep them from being rude and ugly to others. I'm probably too proud for my own good, but reading comments above, I'd sure hate to be invited somewhere and even lovingly be referred to as a "stray". People want and need honest to goodness friendship, or maybe just a place to land at times. They don't need pity. And they certainly don't need to be a feather in someone else's cap. Can you tell I'm annoyed at this? Nevermind me. I'll get over it...
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a good friend, getting annoyed about my experiences! Don't get over it too much though, it's great to feel supported like this. I expect the people themselves eventually got over themselves!
Delete