Since this is in our immediate future
I'll be occupied indoors, with the second one of these, which I cast on at the knitting group
It's a name that has many spellings and historians have settled on the version that Anne, the most famous of them, and Mary's younger sister, used.
My high school principal, an unreconstructed old fogy with a brilliant history degree from a prestigious uni, always referred to her as Nan Bullen, insisting it was the usage of her time!
Meanwhile Handsome Son continues his free cycling by proxy -- he brings his declutterings here, and I free cycle.
Quite a bit of this box is usable food, so that's in my kitchen. And other items are leaving here and there via freecycle. I'm happy to help, because he's struggling to overcome his packrat tendency, so he does this on his time at his pace and I encourage by helping.
Yesterday's discussion about bill paying reminded me of a convo a while back with an affluent friend whose brother was hopeless with money and in trouble with arrears on his mortgage. She said "We could easily afford to help him but if we give him the mortgage money, he'll certainly spend it elsewhere on an impulse."
I could see the issue there and suggested they direct funds straight to the mortgage holder, whereupon she tells me "You don't understand about mortgages. Only the person whose name they're in can pay them." Which I seriously doubted, since why a mortgage company would even care, or notice, if it comes to that, is unlikely.
But it's a fixed assumption. It doesn't account for little pieds a terre in St. John's Wood (London) beloved of gentlemen who put them in their mistress's name for secrecy reasons, but paid for them! She wasn't familiar with that kind of maneuver, being a sheltered lady herself, and not much of a reader of the novels where these characters appeared, as well as in real life.
Moving on, have a good day, everyone, pay your bills, if you just can't find someone willing to do it. Mine has never shown up, so I guess it's not going to happen! Sigh.
Joking aside, I'm fine with being an independent old lady with no partner needing my energy. It's so much easier to just take care of the Great Me! My mother used to comment on how the widows of her acquaintance, out of long old-style marriages, centered on the husband's wants, suddenly looked younger and stronger, as she would say "Fit and fresh!" And ready to frolic!
Speaking of such husbands, did you get the puzzle?
KILLJOY!
:)
Rats! I didn't get the puzzle.
ReplyDeleteMy reply might have gone into spam! It happens. I was saying it was the kind of puzzle you either get right off or not at all.
DeleteLovely knit handwarmers! Here another day inside while a blessed rain falls all day. We've needed it for so long, I just hope the earth can absorb most of it...rather than creating floods downstream. I have a married friend who never talks about her husband, never is buying for him, and I have to remind myself she's married. She is extraordinary in that relationship where her diet is different from his so he shops and cooks for himself, as she does also. I have about as many friends who are single women, all over 60. I could go on and on. But this is about your post!
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many long marriages eventually become parallel existences?
DeleteI worked in a nursing home in my young years. More than one resident told me she was happy when her husband died. Not kidding. You will be hunkered down with your knitting and your book for a bit. Everyone wins with HS winnowing. Some food in the pantry for you, something someone wants for them and HS is decluttering.
ReplyDeleteThey do say heterosexual marriage is designed to favor men!
DeleteI guess that woman of your acquaintance didn't really (really) want to help her brother or she wouls have found a way and done it quietly. Good on your son for following your example to tackle rationalization day by day. A friend told me once that her answer to hoarding was a daily mantra along the lines of 'put something away, throw something out, file a piece of paper'.
ReplyDeleteI think you're speaking as an independent thinker and actor. She had a lot of that learned helplessness I've seen in affluent women who go from their father's house to their husband's without ever living alone as a decision maker. She believed a lot of things that weren't so. She was the person who asked me why I didn't drop my accent in order to fit in.
DeleteIt's one thing when people are wrong about something but it's another when they insult someone else while spilling this misinformation. I know we should probably give those people some grace but honestly- it just comes off as rudeness.
ReplyDeleteI think that some people are vastly relieved when a partner dies. Probably especially women. I don't think I'd be one of them.
I suspect that's especially true of happy second marriages like yours, treasuring your partner.
DeleteOh no, the dreaded "wintry mix"! A good time to stay inside. I'm sure your friend is wrong about mortgages. I don't think the bank would care who pays it as long as it's paid. Besides, being told "you don't understand" is a bit...condescending.
ReplyDeleteBut, but, she was talking to a foreigner!!
DeleteSevere wind and rain storm headed this way! Misery. We’ll be staying in for sure.
ReplyDeleteKnitting and reading scheduled.
DeleteThe weather on the way, I see has arrived where you are. When there is food and no need to go out to do errands, then whatever Earth wants to do, without causing damage, is what Earth wants to do. I use to fret too much about weather. Now I enjoy being indoors with purpose.
ReplyDeleteYes, no use lamenting! Just have plans.
DeleteAt my bank anyone is allowed to deposit into anybody's account. And that's the same for making a payment on any loan. Anyone is allowed. What anyone who isn't on an account allowed to know is the payment amount, due date, total amount owed or anything else. Those bits remain only account owners. Payments and deposits though - anyone is allowed.
ReplyDeleteHere's to the rest of your week! It's clean sheet day here.
I just changed my bed and caught up with laundry, too.
DeleteI gave Handsome Son all the information so he knows how to plan, but tax people, HOA etc wouldn't, you're right.
I love gloves with no fingers as they allow me to blow my nose without having to take them off, and as the cold makes my nose run - as do most things - I value that.
ReplyDeleteThey're useful in the house,too. I've made I lot of pairs for the homeless people attended by the knitting ministry. The clients also get medical attention, food supplies, etc, and they really appreciate the gloves and hand knit warm socks.
DeleteObviously they never intended to pay the mortgage and just wanted to big note themselves.
ReplyDeleteOh I just don’t like people who do that.
Either pay the mortgage or don’t. Just don’t bang on about it.
And definitely don’t be telling others about the shortcomings of your relatives. That’s just rude!
Astute observation, Angela! I hadn't thought they were bigging themselves up, but that's a likely scenario.
DeleteWidows get a new lease on life and widowers shrivel up and die. Says a lot, doesn't it.
ReplyDeleteFrolic on, my dear.
Do I hear a wicked little chuckle??
DeleteNan Bullen? That's a new one on me, and I'm pretty sure he was way off base.
ReplyDeleteRe the issue of depositing funds in an account not your own - we had to do that a time for two for our oldest son and it meant going to the bank, with cash in hand, and asking them to transfer the money to his bank in the city. Oddly enough, one teller was more than happy to accomodate but the next time I tried to do the very same thing, nope, they couldn't do that. More like wouldn't because she didn't want to be bothered with the paperwork. I left, and came back the next day and waited for the first teller who happily did what I asked. Luckily we only had to do that a time or two so avoided any more angst.
It can depend on who's behind the counter. Sometimes ee don't do that means I don't know how to!
DeleteI've seen the usage Nan Bullen in my own history reading. It's authentic, but a bit disrespectful, because Nan's a nickname for Anne. Mother Monica, despite her (many) personal failings, was a good historian.
I do like your gloves. I'm wearing one such right now. It keeps my right hand warm over the mouse.
ReplyDeleteYou only need one?
DeleteYour last sentence really hit home. I'm divorced 12 years now and have no intention of repartnering. I've been told more than once by married women how "lucky" I am to only have to think about me. There are so many unhappy marriages (mine was one of them) - not all, but many. For however many years I have left, I won't be taking on another man-project!
ReplyDeleteYes. Though I had a complicated, largely happy relationship, it's more work and adaptation than I care for now.
DeleteIf you lived nearby, I'd be doing the same as HS. We always have good things that we have no need for. We have had a lot and a little in our lives, over and over again. Now, it's enough but just barely. I'm STILL waiting for someone to come and rescue us from our extravagance.
ReplyDeleteOne of my friends I'd helped with free cycling used to say "I must get out of the habit of shopping!"
DeleteI am sure that I have either read a book or watched a film about the other Boleyn, but I can't remember which . . . or much about it to tell the truth.
ReplyDeleteI expect there was a movie or maybe TV production about Mary Boleyn. Very little is known about her, so you could write just about any script.
Delete