So before I leave for the post office, here's the group of Izzies I'm sending to their new little owners at the Pine Ridge reservation.
For the moment, the doll related materials can be stored and I'll see what's next.
Meanwhile back in the life of Boud, I've set up an appointment next week to prepay my cremation and set it up. I'll invite Handsome Son if he's free, to make sure he's completely informed. That sounds so businesslike and matter of fact. In fact, I slept all afternoon, from the emotional impact of doing it, filling out online forms, all that. And all night. It's not easy.
To be clear, I'm perfectly well, not under any medical deadline, but my impending birthday reminded me to do this. I'll be 85, so it's not premature to be planning.
Tomorrow Handsome Son is visiting so I'll get into that then. I also have other ideas about changes that will simplify his post-Mom life. I'll see how he feels about that, too.
Meanwhile I will send off the parcel of dolls and bake a batch of cranberry walnut muffins, ready to give HS a little something with his tea tomorrow.
Happy day, everyone, do hard things. You got this.
Good for you getting final plans into place (earlier is better than never!!) I procrastinated about the place I was interested in, and then they were full when I looked again this year. They are looking for a new site, but don't know when it will be ready. Mmm, I'm sliding in that direction and am sorry I didn't get a place when I first thought of it.
ReplyDeleteA place?
DeleteYou are an inspiration. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI feel a bit wrung out!
DeleteOoh, cranberry walnut muffins. HS is very lucky!
ReplyDeleteAlways a little something when he visits. Neighbors get some, too.
DeleteGood for you for prearranging your end of life cremation plan. I'm a big believer in planning ahead with a will, enduring power of attorney, personal directive documents, and end of life plan. Yes, it means we have to contemplate what we don't like to think about and that's unsettling and stressful. But believe me, as a lawyer, I've seen the chaos and expense that can result from people NOT doing so. You're doing the right thing!
ReplyDeleteEverything else is in place. I waited on this bit, because I wanted the final price not to be too much more than I pay at today's prices. I don't think it's fixed.
DeleteBye bye, Izzies, be loved!
ReplyDeleteI think they will.
DeleteI think your very sensible doing the hard things
ReplyDeleteMaybe I should have that conversation with hubby and we can decide a few things together that way the one left knows what’s wanted
I love the izzy dolls I’m sure the recipients will love them too
It's so important. When HP was at the end of his life, it was so helpful to be able to do what he wanted for care and then the cremation. It makes it so much better that the survivor doesn't have to decide, just do.
DeleteNot an easy discussion to have for sure. I wish you both well taking care of each other in the process. Thank you for explaining you are not about to kick off this life.
ReplyDeleteIt's what people think when they hear about arrangements, so I'm quick to reassure them this is not imminent. As far as I know..
DeleteSnoopy is so wise and guess what, I posted a Snoopy cartoon today a few minutes ago. Great minds think alike, ha ha. You are a good mom to sort out things to simplify things upon your death, I simplified things too a few years ago, visiting a lawyer.
ReplyDeleteI got a lot of legal stuff taken care of ages ago, and it still applies. We got a special deal through AARP, for US people this might apply to.
DeleteThe dolls will find good buddies I am sure.
ReplyDeleteThey tend to be well received. They'll be there by Monday.
DeleteCremation is such a sensible thing in these days of land scarcity. My in laws were Catholic but were happy to be cremated (after the powers that be decreed it was no longer a sin) and hubby and his brother scattered their ashes together at one of their favourite spots. We did the same with my parents. I don't need to visit a church yard or cemetary. If I really want to I can go and sit quietly next to the stream where we placed their mortal remains. But to be honest, why bother? They live on in my heart and memories.
ReplyDeleteOnce you're finished with your body, you live in people's memories anyway.
DeleteYou are not just planning it but discussing it with the person to whom it really matters. Once we are gone what we want isn't really all that important as much as what those who live want and need to deal wth loss. Still, it can create some fabulous family rows when siblings fall out over 'what Mum would have wanted'. At least HS isn't faced with that issue (in any form).
ReplyDeleteOne of his friends said a while back that he wouldn't have any sibs to share the responsibility, to which he said nor to argue with either!
DeleteMy mother had pre-arranged everything, but we changed the casket regardless to something that we thought was more tasteful. But that was all. She arranged it all.
ReplyDeleteMine is very simple, and they know to model it on how we handled it for Handsome Partner. But I'll go over it with them.
DeleteGood on'ya, Liz, as a dear friend would say. Half the battle is setting up the appointment - probably the harder half, as I expect the funeral home staff are very skilled at handling the in-person part (and I do hope HS can join you). I know you and he have discussed all this stuff, and I trust that this next discussion over cranberry muffins will be helpful as well. But yes, I can see how it would wring you out a bit.
ReplyDeleteThe Izzies look just grand. The recipients will so enjoy them!
Chris from Boise
I've been through this before, same funeral home, for HS, but this is a bit different. They're nice people, so I'll get through it.
ReplyDeleteThe Izzies are on their way to new parents!
very simple process when my sister died, basically just answered some questions and paid the fee. no casket, just the box, no embalming since there wouldn't be a viewing. cost a little over $3,000.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the recipients will be happy with their izzies.
That sounds like what we did for HP. But arranging it for yourself is a whole different situation.
DeleteWell done being on top of that -- and taking your son with you, too. Love that Peanuts cartoon.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I really need the encouragement.
DeleteI once tried to talk to a brother about cremation, and a particular tree and rock where my ashes could be placed on my property (if I still own it). He immediately said he had recently bought new shoes that came in a really nice box, and could we use that for my ashes? I rather think he was not comfortable discussing the topic.
ReplyDeletePeople aren't. I think my son is fairly desensitized at this point, it having come up quite a bit.
DeleteWe prepaid our 'arrangements' when we sold the house. The niche where our ashes will be even has our names on it, which is a bit morbid, but oh well. The funeral home has been directed that there is to be no funeral. Our boys have been told that it's entirely up to them if they decide to have any sort of 'celebration of life' but that we'd prefer nothing. I'd rather they get the money it would end up costing.
ReplyDeleteExactly. I want yo cost as little as possible after I die. Money's for the living.
Delete