Wedding anniversary, that is. Handsome Partner's journey ended eleven years ago, but he's here in memory still.
No pictures today, not quite up to it.
We had intended to marry the previous October, but technical difficulties with the registrar refusing to settle on a date and time, held it up.
To be clear, it was a wedding in a Catholic church, and unlike other religions in the UK, Catholic priests do not have the legal power to marry couples.
The law dates back to the Reformation, like a lot of other laws against the practice of Catholicism. So unless you go to the registrar's office,which gives you a ceremony recognized by law but not by your religion, the registrar has to come to the church.
They hate traipsing about doing this, particularly if they administer a big area, and try to postpone repeatedly, or they suddenly come up with a time and date and everything else has to scramble to fit in.
He gave us twenty minutes starting at 3.20 pm on February 16, 1963. At about two weeks' notice.
It was okay since it was a very small wedding, couple of dozen guests, so everyone, especially the priest, was very flexible. It went just fine.
Many years later a friend I knew here in the US, but who was originally from near Manchester, where we lived then, said oh that explains that wedding we went to.
She had noted the date and said they were invited to another wedding that same day, a few miles away, at 2.11 pm! We concluded it must have been the one before ours! She said the invitation was very last minute, and for such a weird time. So now all was clear to her, including the reason for the timing.
There are quite a few reasons why the separation of church and state really is a hill I will die on. This has been just one of them. Don't get me started on the others. It was a driving force in my emigrating. But moving on..
Beautiful full February moon is now rising over the rooftops. Nice evening to remember a long history. And a nice life all in all.
Tonight we can see the moon in all her glory, rising straight up out of the flat, mirror sea.
ReplyDeleteSending good thoughts and prayers on your anniversary
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on many years of marriage even though anniversaries must be difficult. So, commiserations to go with the congratulations, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteWhat an archaic law! But here’s to separation of church and state. May the current Christian Nationalists not get their way.
It is nice to remember a long history and many happy memories. I imagine your anniversary must bring mixed feelings but for what it's worth I send much care to you on a special day.
ReplyDeleteThat is a long history and the fact that you mark it, ponder, remember- that says so much.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs...
ReplyDeleteWarm wishes on your anniversary! I may be wrong, but I don't think that's still true in the UK re. Catholic weddings. I think Catholic priests can officiate now without a registrar.
ReplyDeleteHappy memories make things easier.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like it was a great marriage. Good memories associated with it. Hope it was a good day!
ReplyDeleteSteve, I hope that's true. It was a big pain to deal with. I wonder if that was changed when they abolished the law that a Catholic couldn't be prime minister. Tony Blair waited till he was out of office before converting, otherwise he'd have lost his job. It's about the oath of loyalty to the Crown,which is also to the church of England. They said.
ReplyDeleteAbout memories: you choose which to dwell on! It was pretty dramatic at times, two complicated impatient people! Quite a saga.
Belated thank you for a thoughtful anniversary post. Marriages are...interesting! The way you re-partnered up with HP tells me more about the feelings between you than the previous parts of the saga. I hope that by now your HP memories are more of all the good times than the "dramatic", or the last frail years.
ReplyDeleteHugs from Boise -
Chris
Chris, one of my art students who was a therapist by day, commented that we'd shaped our relationship to suit who we were as life went on, rather than what society expected us to be. Very astute. Also baffling to more conventional friends.
ReplyDeleteWe had met in the late fifties, and were friends from then on, no matter whether we were together or apart. Not many people get to live that.
Loved reading the story of your wedding day, Liz. And your responses to thoughts above. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI think I'd have opted for the quick civil ceremony in the office and then the religious ceremony when I wanted without it being short notice. If I would have a religious ceremony which I would not. And didn't either time. Although the first time a minister from my parent's church officiated, the ceremony was at my parent's home. The second one was at our home, lasted 5 minutes, and a friend officiated having got his license via the mail.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have many happy memories to ponder.
Those were not options. The Church would have refused a ceremony, local Bishop would have pressed for my excommunication. Any children would be declared illegitimate, refused the sacraments. The cost would have been devastating.
ReplyDeleteThis is what I mean by separation of church and state. The English Catholic church was in siege mentality mode because of centuries of discrimination.
When your family has been loyal to your religion for at least five hundred
years, it's not something you can discard.
So we did what many minorities do -- left. Members from both sides of my family had emigrated to New York State in the 1880s , still somewhere upstate. Our reasons were partly economic, no jobs for educated folks in the UK. And even fewer for the wrong religion.
Ancient history now. It amuses me when people ask if I get nostalgic for England.
I didn't know that about Catholic weddings. In the church I went to previously, an independent evangelical, one of the congregation was licensed - or whatever it has to be - to act as a registrar.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you were able to enjoy so many years with your husband.
It's good to mark the day, no matter if the partner is there or not. Resident Chef and I were married in the home of the minister. He was my cousin and also married my parents many years previously. He was retired by the time I wanted to marry and he graciously consented to 'do the deed'.
ReplyDelete