I got the cheap tealights yesterday, after plowing through many higher priced fundraising versions, this is a thing, but I can't do it right now.
There's a special domestic violence tealights fundraiser here for the women's shelter which I encourage everyone who can, to support, but I need cheap tealights.
Years ago I worked secretly, security issues, with the local women's shelter, my office in a different organization being a remote counseling location where women could come.
It was a women's organization, so the cover story if necessary for any violent spouse was that she wss signing the kids up for programs. The deal was that I'd vacate the office so the trained dv counselor could meet with the woman needing help.
I also hid at home more than one woman, separately from any program, known to me, to escape abuse. One got in touch recently, now in a new life, long established happy relationship, never forgot me. That caused a few tears, I can tell you. It's not why I did it, just a huge bonus.
Anyway back to the clay pot heater.
I set it up with three tealights, it ran for four hours, and was too hot to touch. However, the heat didn't travel more than a few inches. I think it needs some sort of fan, but I need to figure out how that won't blow out the tealights. So far so good though. It definitely heats up very well.
And I'm still in drawing mode
Just seemed appropriate.
Happy day everyone, keep well, stay safe, if you're not safe please try to get help.
We know the most dangerous time is when you leave, and then you need help and I trust you can find it. A women's shelter or women's organization is usually better than the local police department, sad but true.
Photo AC
I had a friend whose husband abused her and I begged her for years to leave him. I told her over and over that she could come stay with us. She couldn't bring herself to do it for so long and then she finally did and started a new life and wouldn't you know it- she came down with a horrible neurological disease that eventually, and cruelly, killed her. AND the ex-husband wormed his way back into her life before she died. Just the most heartbreaking situation ever. I have so much respect for the women who find it within themselves to leave and for the people who help them do that.
ReplyDeleteThe danger at the point of leaving is why many women don't. They fear, often correctly, they'll be signing their death warrant. Also they often have children to consider. People outside often say why doesn't she just leave? That's why. Those who do leave deserve every possible support and no judging. They're heroes and survivors.
DeleteWonderful to have been thought of.
ReplyDeleteExplaining set up for communications feels uncomfortable given the depth of abuser determination to find their victims.
Yes, this is so true. And helpers are put at risk, too. That's why I operated in secrecy. Also why the women's shelter has a reinforced metal door.
DeleteWomen's shelters are critical infrastructure in every community, alas.
ReplyDeleteToo true. Mostly it's men abusing women, though there are other scenarios too.
DeleteThe block I grew up on had two, that I was aware of, wife beaters. They also went after the kids. Everyone knew about it but no one said or did anything. I knew the term "home correction". Good on you for what you've done to help.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like the tea light heater is good for heating the space you are sitting in but not the room.
For so long the police were useless, didn't grasp it at all, or blamed the woman for provoking him. Sadly families did that too. That's why outsiders like me were needed.
DeleteThe saddest thing of all is that this is STILL going on. Despite education, advertising, money (supposedly) being thrown at the issue. What is the answer?
ReplyDeleteOne help would be to promote more women in police departments, to run them for the protection of the public, rather than an occupying force. Instant dismissal from the force for anyone found guilty of domestic violence. And civilian men could step up, challenge men who insult and abuse women, not just shake their heads and say sympathetic things. Good men can help subdue violent ones.
ReplyDeleteI'm not holding my breath, to be honest. It's probably going to be women as usual who step up.
It doesn’t sound like the clay pot heater is going to save anyone from hyperthermia
ReplyDeleteBut it’s great that your still trying The drawings are great.
I grew up in a very violent home. And I’ve still dealing with the consequences of that upbringing.
It’s much better now for women I think. There are resources. But in those days. It was always a family matter and no one interfered.
Now if only we can educate men that violence isn’t a manly thing at all
I'm sorry you had to endure that, Angela. You're such a model mom and grandmom, clearly you did much better. But yes, the effects don't go away.
DeleteI had to look up at the fireplace grate to realize your drawing was not of a turkey carcass!
ReplyDeleteI do not know the answer to domestic abuse and violence. As you pointed out, it affects children, too, directly or indirectly. I wish I knew the answer.
Turkey on the brain, huh?
DeleteThank you for the help you gave those women. I'm glad one survived to get in touch with you.
ReplyDeleteAre you feeling better, e? You mentioned being a bit under the weather recently.
DeleteI wonder if our women’s shelter sold any of my photos this weekend. It was their annual fundraiser.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for donating them. If ever there were a good cause, that was one.
DeleteI am so impressed at the fullness of our life, at the way you revel in it.
ReplyDeleteLife's a banquet! --Auntie Mame
DeleteSo true about the police when it comes to domestic violence. Yay for women’s shelters.
ReplyDelete