Handsome Son has been living here for just over a week, and I'm beginning to understand how his condo is so full of stuff.
He's basically catering for himself, since his everyday taste in food is very different from mine, other than seeing yogurt as a major food group.
And his food, packages and little boxes and containers have packed my fridge. He's leaving one top shelf available for me, easy for me to reach, and the rest is jammed!
It's really interesting to see that he packed more clothes and doings, including two laptops, different purposes, for a few days here than his parents did when they emigrated across the Atlantic! Mutts says it here.
Same with his surroundings. I feel totally minimalist in comparison to all the things he totally needs around him. My own bits pretty much fit on a little side table, and he, in contrast, has to be careful to keep the floor clear of obstacles to my progress across the room.
These are just bemused observations, not at all critical. He's been so wonderful, basically putting his life on hold, that it would be churlish to fuss. But it does make me wonder about a passing thought we had recently, that, if the economy really plunges, we could sell the condo for the income and share this house. Hm.
Anyway, just passing thoughts. Meanwhile I did make it up to my regular bed last night, and it was a tricky thing. I hadn't expected a resurgence of pain, making me wonder about the whole idea. Evidently this aging body wasn't happy about the change, and needed more pillows and ice to make the bed tolerable.
Eventually all calmed down and I could sleep. So I think it's okay.
I need to get going again with the crocheted top, mainly because my hands are stiff with disuse other than gripping Walker Two-step and Carol Cane. Time to move my fingers.
This period has brought me face to face with age, I think. All my life I was always by far the youngest in family groups, and I think that feeling of youth has persisted, long after it was no longer applicable.
Just now, being treated as a nice little old lady, emphasis on little and old, seems to be having its effect. Reality dawning. But no complaints here, considering the alternative. I still have a lot to enjoy.
Happy day, everyone, enjoy whatever's there. Reclaim our flag and restore, and expand, its meaning. Inclusive rules.
I'm sure it's a big change having someone else's stuff in your fridge and on your floors! Life is all about adapting, right?
ReplyDeleteOn top of recovering from surgery and being too weak to do anything about it. After so many years of having everything at home my way, it's different, yes.
DeleteI’m clearly not as minimalist as you, but I like things in their places. And, yeah, that fridge would drive me crazy... except that he DID leave you a shelf of your own. That works. However, having Handsome Son there sure is worth the mess. I hope you settle in easily and comfortably tonight.
ReplyDeleteHe is more than worth it. And he doesn't try to change anything about me, so there's that.
DeleteOf course he doesn’t try to change anything about YOU. Never tamper with perfection.
DeleteThat's what I always say ;)
DeleteI also just experience my son (and his wife) giving me total respect and honor for my age, and my body's limitations. In a way it was really nice, to relax into them doing everything for me. In a way it convinced me that I was really really old now. Not sure I liked that, being so aware of my limitations, rather than spending each day working to continue my independence. I think it brought home to me that yes, I certainly appreciate when others show they care about me, and care for me as my physical needs might demand. Yet now that I'm back home I have so much more time to spend blogging, recording what's happened, and doing what I can do best...rather than what I barely manage. I hope your recovery period is without that pain that rears its ugly head unexpectedly...and you continue to bask in the offerings from your son.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's definitely a situation worth considering, when you're reminded of your limitations, rather than just working within them. There's good in both.
DeleteThat is a packed fridge! Handsome Son goes through a lot of food! Glad to hear you are getting around (and up and down)! Hope the pain eases up and doesn't disrupt your sleep.
ReplyDeleteI'm doing much better today, very glad I made the change, nearer to everyday life.
DeleteAccepting one's limitations, even if they are (hopefully) temporary, is trying, to say the least. However, you are making progress, and that's so good.
ReplyDeleteIt takes patience, of which I have a limited supply.
DeleteThe other day Glen said something that I keep thinking about. "Adapt and overcome." And that is indeed what much of life is about. You are very good at it.
ReplyDeleteI'm inclined more to "accept and adapt", me
DeleteI have just had a few days with my parents. Dad is finally accepting that he might be old at 85 nearly 86 - but aims to be here at least another 14!
ReplyDeleteI definitely feel with your dad!
DeleteThis is why we knew I needed my own space if I moved into Dagan and Leah's house...my own apartment. Our home styles are very different, shall we say. I am not a minimalist by any stretch, but I am very organized. People have always remarked that my place always looks the same--lol! If the economy goes south, at least you have an option and you know it would work out. You two would adjust to each other's ways, for sure, and love conquers all. :) :)
ReplyDeleteSo glad you got to sleep in your own bed again!
The details of home sharing are a big deal. Yes, thanks to decisions I made earlier in life, we have an option. Not one either of us fancies but oh well.
DeleteWhen we live alone, we get used to being Queen of All We Survey. I know that's my attitude about my space. MY SPACE.
ReplyDeleteI so get that!
DeleteGood to read that recovery altho slow is real. Strange isn't it how as family we live together for years but once independent different personalities express their lives in ways that don't always come back together easily.
ReplyDeleteYes. It's thirty years since we were under one roof. Things are different!!
ReplyDeleteI remember telling my late mother that no, she could not stay with us overnight. She had in the past and it was a disaster. Pills, potions and makeup spread over two bathrooms and one bedroom. Umpteen extra pillows. Talcum powder everywhere. My bathmat in the shower so she didn't slip, in spite of me telling her it's a non slip surface. Jamming the venetian blinds in the sliding door when she went out to the balcony to smoke. Barging into my bedroom and Ray's without knocking. And yes, we did feel guilty for saying no, but we had to. I realised I could never live with her and I don't know how my brother coped as her carer. There, I feel better now. So, about moving into your son's place.....I am sure you are not like my mother.
ReplyDeleteI hope it was a bit easier for your second night to get into bed.
Yes, I think I'm a bit less chaotic than your mother! If there's any moving, it's Handsome Son to here, a bit jarring for him, a backward step, but we're hoping it won't come to pass.
DeleteThe second night was very good, comfortable, phew. Thank you for asking.
I assume he’s just about the only one whom you can call on, and he has stepped in and stepped up
ReplyDeleteYes, exactly.
DeleteLiz , I knew I had been somewhat negligent in visiting blogs lately, but I didn't realize how long it's been since I was here last. Tonight I've pretty much caught up on your situation, and I'm sorry to not have followed along in real time. While it's been an ordeal for you, from this vantage point you appear to be making good progress. Certainly, you have a great attitude. So glad you have HS and his stuff there with you. What a terrific son. What a good relationship you two must have.
ReplyDeleteCheering you on as you regain your strength and your body adapts to its new hip!
Hi, Becki! Nice to see you, and thank you for catching up. Yes, things are going along well, and HS is endlessly patient with his grousing old Mom.
DeleteFinally your fridge looks like Ms. Moon's!
ReplyDeleteThese are interesting considerations. It's good to have options in life, whether or not you hope/wish/plan to use them or not. No having options is rarely a good plan.
Rowan empathizes about house-sharing, as we've just added a second dog to the family (details to follow via email). There's a lot of "WTH!" feelings floating around, but fortunately expressed only by glares - no bloodshed. It's quite amazing how many unspoken rules Rowan has about How Things Should Be, and Birdie knows none of them. Things are actually going far better than I expected.
I hope your body and your bed re-adapt to each other quickly. Now, the important question: have you managed a shower yet?
Chris from Boise
Yes on the unwritten rules! I didn't even realize about some of them until they didn't happen. Still sponge bathing, because adding a shower to climbing the stairs is a bit more energy than I have available. But it will happen. Last night was comfortable in bed, so I guess adaptation has happened.
DeleteYour son's welcome to view yogurt as a major food group if he wants, but to me it's like eating flavored air.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny! Different folks, different strokes. Flavored air is how I feel about squash. Like, what's it for?
DeleteYou both seem flexible and considerate of one another, a big help.
ReplyDeleteWell, he certainly is! Tactful too. I don't know where he learned that. Not from either parent.
DeleteYour comments about HS differences and your own were definitely not read as being critical by myself, just differing lifestyles. Apparently, it has been working well and most likely you will miss each other’s company once the need to co-habitat is over. Hope that sleeping in your bed will get easier in terms of pain.
ReplyDeleteI'll miss him, but we'll both be glad to get our spaces back. The pain level dropped to minimal last night. Nice comfortable night's sleep.
DeleteI would love for my son to come stay with me. I would give him all of the fridg for his food. LOL So nice he is there.
ReplyDeleteI'm lucky in that he's local so I get to see him easily. I know your situation is different. It is nice he's here, though, stuff or no stuff.
DeleteI had to laugh at your house sharing. That's exactly why Rick and I live in two separate houses!
ReplyDeleteFor many years HP and I kept separate houses. I only moved here, our jointly owned house, when his health deteriorated to where he couldn't be alone. That was a hard transition for both of us.
DeleteI sometimes contemplate what my life might be like should anything happen to the RC. My friends have asked if I'd consider moving in with either of my kids and the easy answer is no. However, who's to say what circumstances will dictate as time goes on. I might consider moving in with #2 son and daughter-in-love, but they already have her mother living with them, plus they live clear across the country. I would have to leave my friends and that wouldn't be an easy thing. Starting over wouldn't be easy. I have been eyeing some of those tiny houses though and might be convinced to live in one...but who's to say the kids would stay in one place.
ReplyDeleteThese are ideas worth considering. And who knows where relatives might move or be transferred to? One of my friends moved a long way to be near her daughter, who was then transferred several states away. Friend moves back to her old location!
DeleteThat's exactly what I'm afraid might happen!
Delete