My recent horoscope reading, for us Sags: You have moments of being surely loving and accepting of what is, even when "what is" is changing rapidly. You'll move with the changes.
Well, let's hope so!
The artwork at the header is a wonderful watercolor by Donna Senopoulos, who mounted it on card and sent it with a beautiful note. It's an original from a really good artist, so I framed it instantly, and it now graces the place where the white on black drawing of HP used to hang, before I sent it as a thank you to his doctor. I had to photograph it off to the side, because as usual I forgot to do the pic before I framed, and would have had a spot of glare in the middle if I'd pictured it straight on. One of these days I'll remember to photo first, but I'm not holding my breath.
I have been so blessed with literally dozens of emails, cards, letters, lovely flowers, edible treats, truly useful items (bird feeder! seeds!! loaf baking pan!!!) and visits from friends, food cooked and brought, it has been wonderful, and now I have to ease back from drama and crisis and return to the more day to day stuff of life. Which involves finding out once more what that is, after close on ten years of home nursing, long before HP's disability became so profound.
Meanwhile, yesterday I played music and chatted for two whole hours without needing to hurry back, wonderful time, and my wise music and art friend S. who has been through similar stages to my current one, pointed out that it will take a long time for me to get used to not having to rush about all the time! that's one change I hope to make.
And while I was caring for HP I used to cook us great meals, then he had to move on to easier food at the end, including smoothies, which I made every morning for him. he managed a few teaspoonsful at each meal, and really liked them, up till he decided he was through eating and drinking.
I realized that I now need similar easy, nutritious food sitting in the fridge for when I just don't feel like cooking, so each morning sees me in the kitchen loading the container with milk, yogurt, honey, peaches, bananas, canteloupe, whatever is fresh from the farm, berries if there are any. And the handy new blender works just fine, so I have about a quart of liquid food there in the fridge for each day.
I am the Queen of the Smoothies!
And I'm starting to recover the concept of the weekend off. No bureaucrats will call at the weekend,so I'm free of demands and anxiety and general angst for the moment. The official executor duties are only just beginning, far from over,but I have two days free of them. This is good.
And if it ever stops pouring and lightning and thundering, I'll make it to the Preserve for my first unbounded walk in years. Yay.
When we made the cross-country move due to work transfer many years ago, a young lady doing her post-graduate project on the psychological impact of relocation came to visit us. She told us that it took, on average, approx. 2 years for folks to adjust to their new surroundings, new community, forge new friendships and feel "at home". I read an autobiography of a pioneer ranch woman from the turn of the last century who experienced the same feelings we did. Relocation doesn't compare to bereavement after a long stint of home nursing, but the feelings of being cut adrift are similar. I think time does not heal all wounds, but it gives one a space in which to recover and renew. Here's wishing you rejuvenation and peace, love, Jean
ReplyDeleteThe horoscope sounds spot-on to me as far as you accepting change - not that you have much choice. You are doing admirably. Nice that you've had the opportunity to get back into you music again too.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the smoothies.