Self care, aka daily luxury touches a la francais

Just found a young writer, Jennifer Scott, never came across her before, initially because she ran a brief book group on youtube on the Lucia series by EF Benson.  Very cool to hear someone else's take on these favorites, since they're all in my own head usually. Some of the flavor of it is over her head, but it's still interesting to hear.

Then found out she spent time in Paris as a young student, on an exchange program, and I found her writings on Madame Chic, the name she gives her French hostess.  She learned a good deal about the French way of life in her few months in Paris, largely from a wealthy family in the 16e arrondissement, ie posh neighborhood.  Listening to Lessons from Madame Chic right now on Hoopla.  This is so reminiscent for me, I'm plunging through it.

I was an au pair, also in Paris, also in the 16e arrondissement, only nineteen, few years younger than she, and actually working in the family, and long ago, but I learned a lot of the same things about how people lived.  A lot of what I learned doesn't actually require inherited wealth and posh houses.  It's about a kind of elegant attitude as much as anything.

My French hostess, or employer, used to buy from the best couturiers but also liked sweaters from Marks and Spencer, which she wore with the same air.  She was a great cook, and was horrified at the massive french fries I cut!  she described them as planks of wood, because her method was what I'd call shoestring fries, very thin, cooked to crisp.  I was used to the bigger britstyle chips, crisp outside but with plenty of inside, too.  

I learned to enjoy yogurt then, unheard of in the UK, and to tolerate bitter dark chocolate, eaten at four o clock with chunks of bread, with her little boy.  This was supposed to be for children, the gouter, but I was unable to go from noon to nine pm without eating, French style.  They laughed at me, but I needed that little bite, so Bruno and I both had our gouter. He liked the company, actually!

Her daughter, a teen who was oil and water to me, nonetheless was a great source of education. While I was wrangling the two year old I was au pairing, I observed her with her friends, and her attitudes.  A partygirl more than a student, she was a tall slim blonde, tres chic et soignee!  And very socially sophisticated, far beyond me.

But surprisingly, the family were always sighing in envy of my curly black hair, and how I looked fresh as soon as I got up in the mornings.  Both of these surprised me a lot, because Parisiens are not polite for its own sake! Ah, la belle peau anglaise! Les beaux cheveux frises!

Anyway, Jennifer recounts the Parisian touches she tried to keep in her life forever.  Such as eating with enjoyment, real food, at a table.  Not snacking, not even buying packaged food.  Or being active, walking, using stairs, not the elevator, just generally moving more than a lifelong car owner might.

I like the food thoughts, since I do like good food, don't need a lot of it, but like to make as much as I can from scratch.  Buy good ingredients.  All that. And I definitely learned that from living in a French household where food was important, and ingredients always fresh, and often expensive, but there were no budget worries.  But I like more variety than my French hosts did.

She also noted how few clothes French people had. Now, from the viewpoint of a young affluent American girl, I can see this. However from my own viewpoint, a postwar stonybroke student, I found the French wardrobe positively huge!  Heck, they would buy more than one sweater at a time..but nowadays I observe that I keep on having to slim down my own wardrobe, no need for a lot of these items.  I maintain a steady weight, so I don't have to have a couple of different size ranges, so there's no excuse there.

I can't say I was sorry at the end of my stint in France, spent in Paris, then Brittany then the High Pyrenees, to leave the somewhat proper and rulebound way of life, but I learned a lot, as Jennifer did, from that, too.  

And I probably knew France better than England by the time I came home, bundled hastily onto a plane a couple of weeks early.  This was because of the return of de Gaulle, and the real possibility of civil war, and my hosts didn't want an alien on their hands if I became marooned with them.  Also I had to get back to start my uni career.

Not learned from French hosts, but similar in attitudes to daily life,  I like to use essential oils, a great addition to your life and mood.  At least mine.  Seen here, not great focus, bathroom lighting a bit dim.

I've used them for many years, lavender for relaxation, and I  grow it.  Rosemary for alertness and a general feeling of wellbeing.  Rose geranium because it's nostalgic of a gift I got as a teen from someone I admired.  Just walking among growing herbs, pinching and sniffing, is a great lift to your spirits.

A recent addition to this oil wardrobe is the lemon essential oil, a waker up of aroma, couple of drops on the back of the bathtub before I turn on the shower releases it in the air. 

It also deters Duncan, a downside, really.  Cats hate citrus, and he no longer joins me in the shower.  Thanks to Stefi from this suggestion, passed on from her physio. Not about deterring Duncan, just about using lemon essential oil.

I use the other oils in the bathtub, also a thwip of almond oil, wonderful for your skin and hair, and you do make sure to get your hair wet, at least I do, still having untamable curly hair, to render it wearable.  

Once in a while, often a Sunday morning thing, I take a warm bath.  This is becoming logistically tricky, getting in is fine, and I always hope I can manage to get back out again.  I'm pretty nimble, but you never know.  

Planning on getting another grab bar installed.  In fact this morning I tested where I would want to grab it and I'll mark the spot and get my tame handyman to install it.  He can be relied on to do it right, did all the other grab bars in the house for Handsome Partner.  He actually researched the required ADA way of doing it.

So this morning, it was a nice mix of lemon and rosemary.  I probably smell like a nicely done roast chicken.