Breakthrough, another first, a good one

I'm still bumping against things I'm doing or managing for the first time since HP's death, usually upsetting ones, like tonight with HS, having a pizza to celebrate our getting my cellphone operational again, I automatically went for the pizza wheel to cut a slice into little squares for HP,sheer force of habit. Then remembered I didn't need to now.

But today I can report an exciting good first, for a change. As you know, I switched into fiber arts in a serious way in order to continue making art but bringing it into the living room, where he could see and watch and enjoy, and have my company, while I could know how he was at all times, and there were no fumes or concern about work that could not be picked up and put down at will. I had many interruptions, but as long as I could refocus, the work was fine with it.

This involved teaching myself to spin and card and make tapestries, and then I got into knitting and crocheting large wallhangings. But since his death I have been unable to make any of that artform at all. My knitting has been strictly useful, nice socks and that kind of thing. The other had too much weight for me to deal with.

Yesterday, though I suddenly realized I can do this again. I broke through without even noticing it. And today I almost finished a new wallhanging, knitted in heavy twine, knotted and braided, and with a handmade molded paper head completing the concept.



I'm so glad that I could get into this and even make a new,different, hanging. In terms of recovery, this is huge, so even in its incomplete state (the needle it hangs on is one of the pair I knitted it on, will be replaced by a dowel, the braids and curls will have a heavy handmade bead probably at the ends. And maybe I'll color the head a little) I thought you'd like to see it 90 per cent done anyway! I'm so glad this happened.