Forty Eight and Counting!

Feb 16 1963 was the day HP and I committed matrimony. Not intending to coincide with or near V day, since we'd been trying to get married since the previous October. But since Catholic weddings have no legal status in England, since the Reformation, the only legally recognized marriage is performed by the township registrar. However, since a registrar's office wedding has no religious status in the Catholic church, the only option is to get the registrar to attend the religious ceremony, which they hate to do. So after setting and breaking many dates, between the church being available and the registrar being willing, we finally managed to snag the registrar on Feb 16 at 3.20 p.m. take it or leave it. So we took it.




The wedding picture is a portrait of generosity as well as a wedding picture of two hopefuls cutting their cake together. The dress and veil were lent by a friend I worked with, the cake was a wedding present from another friend, the photography a wedding present from another friend, the surroundings, the Student Union at Manchester University, a low budget location for the reception.

They were all excited about it since it was the first wedding they'd ever done! they insisted on doing all the greenery on the tables since no flowers were available -- severe winter and flowers at that time of year in England used to come from the Scilly Isles, which were totally cut off by winter storms at the time

So the soap opera began! and we were married for 18 years, during which time we emigrated, lived in Wisconsin then here in NJ, divorced, were completely apart for several years, got together again, fell apart again after buying this townhouse, and remained friends through all this, though we were a hopeless couple. Finally, we think, we put out lives together once and for all on nine eleven, figuring that we wanted to be together for each other since it could all be over in a flash.



This is us a couple of years ago

So that's us! one very perceptive friend, well, she's a therapist, hardly surprising, but she was in my life as a private art student, commented that we'd actually done what we needed wrt one another throughout, very flexible approach and one that therapists are starting to see as a good thing for many people, rather than breaking up angrily forever, or sticking together angrily forever!

And so you see us. It cracks me up when people ask what is the secret of our still being close after all these years. The answer is: a great big break of time in the middle of it...