Friday, April 17, 2009
It's okay, it's only Santa reprised
Ages ago I was talking in here about how it's easy to get into crisis mode and see everything as yet another crisis, particularly if a lot of what's happening has in fact been a series of life threatening crises to a family member.
Like the Christmas I panicked when I heard all the firetrucks and police sirens flying around m street, looked out, and there was Santa on a firetruck waving at me! oh, right, it's Christmas, doh. And I said at that time to remember, oh, it's okay, it's only Santa!
What I'm trying to do now is to look ahead a bit, look for the sparks of joy and fun in every day -- even the worst of days has something good about it -- and try to look at that as well as coping with the crushing responsibilities that currently surround this family.
HP not doing so well, weak, valiantly trying, but things not going quite as hoped. Life will be quite different as of his return home, complete with special equipment, bed, mobility stuff, special wheelchair, and so on. I'm in the midst of massive organization of all the people and stuff needed to make this work, within the limits of his financial resources.
And one of my friends, a wonderful artist, commented recently that it seemed somehow disrespectful, in the midst of our current travails, and that of other friends, for her to talk about her everyday stuff, plans, hopes, work in the studio, and so on. But it really isn't.
It's wonderful to hear about ordinary working days being lived by our friends. It reminds us that all is not crisis, there are ordinary blessedly undramatic things going on right now for a lot of people, and I'm so happy to remember that. And to meet my friends and talk about other things than what's happening to me! and to read comments in this blog about people's reactions and doings!
So, in her honor, and she knows who she is! I dedicate this post, complete with pictures of the sunset at home on April 17, dear little bulbs in bloom outside the Acme supermarket, and the orchid in HP's room admiring her own reflection in the window.